Today is the day the Lord has made, let’s rejoice and be glad in it. The lord is my strength and I will rest in his sanctuary.
I want to share my testimony about the reason I quit my nursing job in the hospital and a lot of it had to do with my spiritual journey. When I say spiritual I mean my Christian journey but a lot of what I do has a lot to do with my spirit.
Let’s start from the beginning, I am a nurse who worked throughout COVID. I started on the Med-surg unit before transitioning to post partum. This was something I wanted to do as I am interested in women’s health.
While working on the Med-surg unit there were things I wasn’t feeling such as how I felt whenever I would go to work. No matter what I never wanted to be there, part of that is just employer issues but also patient population.
There are days I enjoyed going to work as there were patients who were so delightful and made work better.
Even still I found that my mental state was becoming more and more fragile. I find that I was becoming somatic, especially with patients who had cancers. I was more anxious and depressed.
Who would have thought?
That becoming a nurse was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing in the sense that I learnt so much and more importantly can help people. Curse because mentally and spiritually I was being attacked.
The feelings got worst after I left Med-surg and went to Post Partum. Everyday my anxiety rose to new heights to the point where I didn’t want to go to work. Most importantly I was under constant spiritual attack.
How did I know?
I felt it, most times I felt I was under attack from different spirits. Part of it was due in part to the fact that I was listening to any types of music and watching all type os shows, allowing anything in my body through my eyes and ears.
I was becoming more and more about the things of the world and not caring about my spiritual health. This is something I hate but it’s one of those things where at times I become too involved.
Depending on how I felt I would ignore the feeling and kept going. But there are days I couldn’t ignore the feeling and would cry out for mercy. It goes without saying that I was under spiritual attack.
Constantly it was on my mind and this was one of the reasons why I had to leave the hospital. No amount of money was going to make me stay and suffer the spiritual pain I was feeling, in fact I was willing to walk away without any second thought.
What did I do?
The first thing I did was pray about what I should do and when I felt a strong conviction, I made my decision. Which was to walk away from something that wasn’t for me and walk into something that was. It was tough walking away from a good salary and wonder if I will be able to make the same again.
For me the biggest thing was going by faith and making sure that the Lord was in the midst of any decision I make. I find that when I was being patient with Christ and being faithful was the happiest I have ever been. This is something I want again, to trust the Lord and know that he has my best interest.
This is about getting back into the presence of the Lord and wanting to do everything to make him happy. While also working towards your own salvation, nothing is promised and we all have to do what is right for us.
We have to not make money a factor to consider when we choose a job but more importantly how we feel and how to find what is right for us.
With that I left my job at the hospital and was free from that environment. One thing I will say is that I regret not leaving sooner as I would have saved myself the anguish I am feeling right now.
Even though I left the fight isn’t over, but I am glad that I took the first step in making sure that I was ok. While I share this, I want to say that we all are going through something.
We all need each other and sometimes sharing our journey will help one person get through what they are experiencing. I write this too because what you are experiencing can also help me.
I will end with this scripture Psalm 34:4–5
“I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.”