Why I quit my nursing job

Hey everyone it has been so long since I have written a post or update anything. To be honest not only was I busy but I was mentally exhausted and didn’t have the mind to think of anything.

In fact, the past couple of months have been such a journey which lead me to the decision I made.

A quick back story

I don’t think I mention it but I am a nurse living and working in New York City and it’s one of the most rewarding yet taxing jobs ever. I have always wanted to become a nurse and was interested in women’s health, ever since working at a fertility clinic as part of the research team.

I always saw my self as someone who loved teaching but also learning, and being apart of the action. Trust me it is much better to have the experience as it helps when you have to deal with certain things.

I went to nursing school and enjoyed the process and which wasn’t an easy one, however when you have amazing classmates it makes it easier. After graduating, I got my first job at the start of pandemic at one of the best hospitals in New York.

This was a hospital I dreamt of working and always told myself that I will work there and I did. My first job was in Med-sure (typical), this is the most popular field of nursing to get a job as a new grad, but not the favorite.

Working on Med-surg I have learnt so much and am thankful for the experience but deep down I knew it wasn’t for me, and didn’t waste too much time. After one and half year I got a transfer to Post partum.

I was so excited to work in a different department especially seeing as my goal is women’s health. Initially when I started I was so excited and looked forward to the new work environment and learning prospect.

What happened?

When I started working on the Med-surg unit I didn’t feel at all that it was for me, coupled with the anxiety of working during the pandemic. I didn’t want to be there most times, between horrible patients, being understaffed and horrible management, I had it.

I knew I had to leave and have been trying before I was a year in, at first I felt guilty as I thought am leaving sick people behind but this wasn’t the case. As much as I didn’t like the unit if my manager was more supportive, I would have stayed.

I will say this it wasn’t always the best place to be as there are patients that was so nasty towards me, non-compliant, quick to complain, not to mention the patients that come back every few weeks and would stay for months or the physicians (mostly PA or new residents) who didn’t know what they were doing or respect the fact that the nurses had tons of stuff to do.

This didn’t make it any better as you have no support other than my fellow coworkers who were fantastic.

There were bad times but there were also good times, like the patients who go home and you miss them because they are so nice. Or the ones who really need you and are so thankful when they give your help, or just thankful in general that was what I lived for and made my job so rewarding.

Then I got the offer for Post Partum which I didn’t hesitate to take. The turnover rate was different moms were there 2 days (vaginal birth) and 3 days (c-section), this was higher than Med-surg, whose turnover rate on average two weeks.

I was under the impression that this unit would be a lot better and more calm. So I though, in fact, I regret going to Post Partum. I find these patients more ungrateful and hard to deal with. Who would have thought you have a happy healthy baby, be thankful.

No, the demand was so much and so unfair that you were on eggshell with these patients, who felt entitled to your time. I am big on helping and teaching you to do something but I don’t believe every time your baby poop I should come and change them. How will you learn?

I took my job serious but working in Post Partum I felt like joke, like I was babysitting grown adults who sometimes have four kids but acted as if this was their first child. Not only that I had to work most times understaffed.

Yes, no matter the department you run the risk of being understaffed with Post Partum it was no different. I guess the hospital decided that Post Partum wasn’t that busy and so we didn’t need an aide, whom they would often float to help other units.

Not to mention staff were leaving left to right because they were frustrated. Nursing in itself has challenges and it’s something we have to accept and find what works for you.

How did this impact me?

I gave a somewhat detailed picture of what happened while working on both units. What I didn’t tell you was the fact that my anxiety got worst from department to the other.

When I transitioned to the Post Partum unit my anxiety, depression and sadness got worst. At first I though it was because I was on Med-surg doing something I didn’t like and if I change I would feel better.

It was the opposite, I was in such anguish that I didn’t want to go to work and called out frequently (something I never did, even on Med-surg). I was that employee who would come to work sick (before pandemic).

As the days pass, I realized that I had to leave for me and my mental health. I was so mentally drained that I couldn’t pretend anymore and didn’t want to. It took sometime of self reflection and praying for me to come to the ultimate decision to leave.

It was tough but I knew I did the right thing and I sent my resignation letter to my employer to which I felt a load lifted off my shoulder. I didn’t know what was coming next as I didn’t secure a job yet but I was willing to take the risk in order to make sure that I was ok.

I wanted time to myself and I found that I wasn’t having the best work life balance. I was under a lot of stress and I felt my body wasn’t in the best place it should and I wanted to change that.

At the end of the day we are all replaceable and that is why we need to come first.

What is next?

Like I said when I quit I didn’t have a job line up and was worried as I had to pay rent and other monthly payments. I was deciding if I wanted another hospital job, for now I didn’t.

I was weighting my options school nursing (which I do from time to time), out patient or travel nursing. There were many options but I had to do what was right for me. Eventually I got a job doing IVF, which was my first choice as to what I wanted to do.

I love women’s health and love educating women about the process. Not only that I enjoyed it and that is something we have to do, do what makes us happy.

What is the take away?

The biggest lesson I learnt is to take care of you. Your mind, body and soul are three components that need to be in tune. If one is off then it creates imbalance.

As a nurse you have to find what works for you, working in the hospital is not for everyone or even being a staff nurse. Some people enjoy the freedom of moving from place to place or even working 9-5.

Work, life balance is so important and you have to make time for you, either travel, spend time with or do something for yourself. I want to encourage everyone nurse or not to be happy and create a life that will make you fell fulfilled.

There are a few post I want to leave links to as this ties into my journey and could help you also:

https://shaunasplace.com/9596-2/

https://shaunasplace.com/30-day-mental-health-challenge/